Not preschool. Not elementary school. No, we are done with those years. Check them off the (too short) list. We are now an official grown(ish) kid that is off to navigate a brand new school with brand new social situations and, gulp, advanced math. Dear Lord help me. Like, actual for real help me. I stopped understanding his math around second grade. I could not be more serious.
All kidding aside, I can’t believe we are here and yet I can most definitely believe we are here. I’ve honestly never been one to reflect back often on the baby years with sadness and wishful thinking. I don’t want to go back to those years, I really don’t. And we did preschool, thank you very much. We also did kindergarten, first grade, second grade, third grade, fourth grade, and yep, fifth grade. It didn’t fly by. It was six years of elementary school and it felt like six years and it was awesome.
Yet I most definitely don’t want to fast forward either. I can’t imagine him in high school and I don’t want to, at all. (Hold me). I want to enjoy Logan exactly right where he is in this moment of his life because he’s rocking it. And I could not be more proud.
He’s ready to move on. And I’m so ready to watch him move on. At times I do feel sadness of the younger years slipping away as he grows another inch in what seems like a Saturday afternoon. He’s definitely way more ‘big kid’ now. He wants his freedom, his friends, his phone. He has broad shoulders. (What the heck). He texts girls. He sleeps in. He wears a size 10 shoe. He knows where babies come from. Friday nights are spent at open gym with friends, post family dinner of course. But those are good, healthy, wonderful things. I want him growing big. I want him happy with his friends. And I want him still wanting home.
Which he most definitely does. I remember a very specific few ‘pre teen’ days with him. They are bound to happen, and it’s hard not to take those moments personally. (Hello, I am your mom! Why so mean!) I honestly hadn’t seen him smile in days. Why so angry? It all came to head with a rough baseball game with zero hits and I could just tell in his face he was so. over. it. He turned to me in the car and said that all he wanted was to go home, order Lou Malnatis, and be with us, which of course includes his best friend Ryder. I’m on it Logan, I’m on it. It was not lost on me that him craving home was an absolutely amazing thing. And it made my heart feel so full.
I know as he grows more and more those moments may appear less and less. Comfort may shift to a girlfriend instead of Lou’s and wrestling his brother. And yet right now, this exact moment, we are in a pretty magical stage. So extremely independent with a personality in full force. You know when they are little and you just wonder what your kid is going to be like? At eleven you know. You know real well.
Logan is loyal. He is so ridiciously funny. Not like joke funny, smart funny. With quick wit. My favorite kind of humor. And when I can make him laugh at something I feel like a million bucks. He loves baseball and pool dates and big social gatherings at our home. He’d have a party here every weekend if I’d allow it. And when he smiles at me I could melt into a puddle on the floor. Not in like a weird way or anything, just in a way that I can’t believe that he is actually for real mine.
I’m am so excited for this next phase of his life. And I’m so excited for his group of friends as well! I’ve watched most grow up since the very early years and I can’t believe they are going to tackle middle school all together. What a group. I have no doubt they are going to do big, wonderful, things. And perhaps a few dumb things along the way. We are talking about middle school aged boys. These things are bound to happen. Yesterday Logan hit a (pitched by his brother) golf ball towards our home and broke a lantern outside our garage. This was way better than the alternative, which was killing his brother.
So bring it on middle school. Until then we are going to soak up this summer and all it has to offer. Come mid August when the bus rolls around to actually take him to sixth grade I’m sure my whole ‘cool as a cuc’ disposition will melt away and I will be a blubbering mess on the side of the road. Wait for it….